Into The Woods (2014)

Director: Rob Marshall

Writer: James Lapine

Music: Stephen Sondheim

Starring: Anna Kendrick, Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, James Corden

Rated: PG (thematic elements, fantasy action and peril, some suggestive content)

Well it was no surprise that the random pick this time would be the ever so popular movie adaptation of Into The Woods. It’s the movie people either loved, hated or didn’t care for.

For those of you who don’t know its based on the Broadway musical and the plot is fairly complex to briefly summarize, but I’ll try. So there’s a baker and his wife, a girl in a red cape, a poor girl who’s father passed away and now lives with a horrible stepmother and stepsisters, a little boy and his cow, a really badass witch, and a bunch of other people. Sound familiar? It should. The main people I’ve mentioned, however, all have specific reasons to venture into the dark and mysterious woods. Problem is, the woods apparently “change” whoever sets out into them and we see this happen over the course of a very entertaining two hour-long movie.

Now before I say anything else, I will just put it out there that I have seen, and always loved, the original show with the amazingly awesome Bernadette Peters, and was honestly apprehensive about the film’s release. Of course I was excited that a musical (yes it’s a musical) that I so dearly love was making a comeback, but I wasn’t so sure about how they would handle it, so to speak. Again, for those who aren’t familiar with the show, while it may consist of all of those classic fairytale characters we know and love, it ain’t a kid’s movie. It addresses all sorts of topics: death, love, family, revenge, and even pedophilia. (So if you want to take your kid, be prepared because you’re gonna have some ‘splaining to do).

I’ll start off talking about what I liked. I personally think that people – especially those who are fans of the original – were extremely hard on this movie and everyone involved. This was simply because they were comparing the two. Now please keep in mind that, yes, they do take some stuff out and, yes, they do kind of butcher the second act, but please, dear God, remember that this is an adaptation. Think of 2007’s Sweeney Todd; we all know that they took some stuff out and the energy level was taken down a few notches, but what made it so great was that it was different from the original. (Not better though!) What I’m saying is that, although not all of the actors were crazy good singers (Johnny Depp, I’m looking at you), they still understood the characters and stories they were portraying and put everything they had into both.

Looking at it strictly as a movie, I thought it was very good-looking. The lighting was beautiful and managed to remain both light and dark at the same time. By that weird sentence I mean that it appeared to be light and happy with just the right amount darkness to hint at the more grim undertone. Maybe you’ll see what I mean when you watch it, maybe not but that’s definitely a thought that came into my mind when I saw it.

As for the costumes, they were awesome. I mean they had Meryl Streep looking damn good with knotted blue hair and rotting teeth. Everyone looked as I would have imaged had I never seen the play in the first place, which is always very refreshing.

Okay, moving onto the music; the most controversial aspect of the film…As I said before, not everyone can sing like freaking Susan Boyle. They are actors not singers. And while, yes, you can occasionally hear a tiny bit of auto-tune, it is still evident that these people are talented. The orchestration for each song, I thought, was great and did good justice to the original and the singing from a specific few members of the cast were excellent. This includes Emily Blunt who I understand had never sung in front of others before, Lilla Crawford, who apparently played Annie on Broadway, and Anna Kendrick who we all have come to know and love. (I’m telling you, the first time I saw her in Twilight I had a feeling she was going somewhere…)

In terms of what wasn’t so good…the second act in general. Like I already mentioned, this movie addresses a whole lot of complex issues and I was honestly worried that they would tone down the maturity level and take certain things out. Well, they did. But surprisingly not everything. (For those wondering, they do leave in that thing that happens with the baker’s wife * wink wink *). But there is one major thing they take out along with a song and it just really bothered me. Yes, it was a very mature and sad scene but I feel that if you’re going to add the complexities they did, why not go a little further and just make it PG-13. Already you’re main audience consists of adults so I don’t see the problem… There is also a narrator as there was in the show; however, he isn’t visible and, therefore, a certain very charming and kind of thought-provoking sub-plot isn’t present.

 Honestly, aside from these two points, I surprisingly did not have too many issues with this movie. I personally believe it did justice to the original if you’re not looking for flaws and was fairly well casted. I would recommend it to those a fan of any member of the cast (Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, James Corden, Anna Kentrick, Chris Pine, Johnny Depp, etc.) or the original show. However, if you have any skepticism, eh, maybe don’t see it. I don’t want you to be disappointed and feel that they ruined an already spectacular show.

The Host (2013)

Director: Andrew Niccol

Writer: Andrew Niccol, Stephanie Meyer

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel

Good Lord…I mentioned in my F review that I had originally picked Fifty Shades of Grey. Well I wasn’t nearly as disappointed then as I was when I randomly picked The Host. Why? Two words: Stephanie Meyer.

So I’m going to start off by saying that this was the longest two hours and five minutes of my life. Had I not been watching it with my dad, who helped make the experience easier by chatting throughout, I would have turned it off and cheated. I’m not kidding.

The Host stars Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, William Hurt and some pretty boys and it’s basically about this alien race that’s taken over Earth. The aliens have the ability to take over human bodies and control them and they’re pretty much perfect; they don’t kill, they don’t steal, they don’t…do anything bad. So this girl named Melanie, who is very resistant to this new race, is taken over by a “Host” after jumping out of a window to try to avoid it. (She’s that passionate). Now that she’s been “occupied” by one of these Hosts, the government (I guess it’s the government…) tries to get information from her about those resisting this whole lets-make-everyone-aliens-who-have-like-no-emotion idea. Among these people is, of course, Melanie’s “lover,” Jared (Max Irons). Come on, what would a Stephanie Meyer book be without the love interest?

Before too long, this Host, who has been named Wanderer, comes to discover that Melanie is still somewhat alive and stuck in this body. This is when shit gets complicated as it’s basically a human and an alien sharing the same body. As crazy as it sounds, the two somehow end up gaining each others trust and form some sort of very strong relationship and join forces with the resistance and then a bunch of stuff happens…If that wasn’t the worst explanation of what this movie’s about, I don’t know what is…

Okay so if you can’t already tell, I did not like this movie, and frankly, the main reason is that it’s just really boring. I mean the plot idea is interesting, I guess, but besides that, it is the most uninteresting movie I’ve ever seen in my life. As you might have guessed, there is another guy involved aside from Jared, named Ian (Jake Abel) which ignites this whole stupid “love rectangle” between the two guys, the alien and the girl who can’t even talk to anyone aside from Wanderer. It’s the most ridiculous thing! Stephanie Meyer, I swear to God, she’s got a checklist she uses every time she writes a novel: supernatural being, angsty teen girl, hot guy, love triangle…It’s getting a little old, Ms. Meyer.

Aside from the fact that this movie hardly held my attention for two hours, I had some other overall issues, starting with the setting. The majority of this movie takes place in a cave. A CAVE. If the movie were about survival and human behavior or psychology then it would be fine! But it’s not. It’s a “sci-fi” movie. And when they’re not in the cave, they’re in a desert. As if the cave weren’t beige and boring enough. It’s like the location manager said, “let’s make the outside world just as boring and uninteresting as the inside of a cave, it’ll look great!” What? Who agreed to that?? For people who aren’t captivated by the plot, you’re screwed, because not only is the story boring, so is the cinematography.

Moving on…The sunglasses. This is a really small little detail I noticed but it bothered the heck out of me. So I hadn’t mentioned before that when a human is occupied by a Host, their eyes turn a different color and this is how they are identified. So if you don’t have creepy blue eyes, watch out ‘cause you’re totally busted if someone sees you. This obviously means that humans have to be really careful when going out into the open world. So the two main pretty boys, in one scene, have sunglasses. Tell me…HOW did they purchase these sunglasses while they’re eyes are clearly not freakishly blue? If you think about it they would have had to walk into a store, be in contact with an alien, all while acting totally normal. What?! Hello, if you don’t have blue eyes, you’re taken and turned into an alien. You’re telling me whoever sold them the sunglasses just stood there and did nothing? They honestly might as well have walked into government headquarters with a giant sign reading “I AM A HUMAN – COME OPPUPY ME.” I know it’s small but unless I missed something in the book or they just happened to have a pair on them before aliens started taking over the world, this makes absolutely no sense, and it bothered the absolute hell out of me. Ugh.

Next: the movie pretty much explains how Melanie came to jump out of the window in the beginning through a flashback montage thing. It tells us about how her and her brother met Jared and how they formed a happy little non-alien family. What bothers me is that we are obviously supposed to feel very invested in their relationship when the only time we see them really in love is in a flashback. Unless you have the talents of whoever wrote Up, you won’t be able to evoke that much emotion from me or really anyone. I cared so little about if they were ever going to see each other again it was ridiculous. Seriously, even Bella and Edward had a more in depth relationship and THAT’S saying something. Even staring at each other was more interesting than a thirty second long montage.

Another issue I had with the movie was the sound. We’ve got a pretty good television at my dad’s house along with some pretty awesome speakers so when we watch action movies, it’s quite the experience. However, the sound in this film was so unbalanced that I jumped and grabbed the remote to turn the volume down about ten times. I don’t care if the sound in a movie is generally loud or generally quiet because with a few clicks of a single button, I can adjust it to my liking. Well not this time. Everything was mellow and fine until freaking Melanie started yelling inside her head. In the time span of like three seconds the volume would go from a five to a ten and give me, my dad and even my dog heart attacks. And the action scenes? Pretty sure I’ve lost a bit of my sense of hearing.

Alright, alright the movie wasn’t completely terrible. In fact there were two things I liked about it: Saoirse Ronan and Diane Kruger. I have to say, this movie did not deserve the energy these two actresses delivered. They are two wonderfully talented women and just wasted a whole lot on this movie. And you could tell, too. Just watching Saoirse Ronan was enough to tell you that she was putting her heart and soul into this movie and it just pained me.

Okay rant over. And this is the first time I will advise you to please not waste your time with this film. I’m not one to turn off movies but as I said I was extremely tempted to. Even to fans of Twilight or any teen romance/Sci-Fi movies or books, I would say to stay away from this one. If you don’t trust me, I’ll just let you know that on Rotten Tomatoes it got an 8%. Haven’t seen a score that low in a while…