Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Director: Tim Burton

Writers: Tim Burton, Caroline Thompson

Starring: Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest

Rated: PG-13

It’s Christmas time! Or if not Christmas time for some – the holidays FINALLY. Of course I wanted to find a holiday movie to review this December so I thought I would ignore the alphabet rule just this once but…turns out I didn’t need to as the random holiday movie I picked was Edward Scissorhands – one of my all-time favorites.

For those of you who haven’t seen it it’s directed by Tim Burton and stars Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and a whole lot of other awesome people, one of them being the “nerd” from The Breakfast Club!

The movie is actually a flashback; in the present, an old woman is telling the story of where snow came from to her curious granddaughter. The story goes like this…So this really old and eccentric Inventor (Vincent Price) creates a young man named Edward (Johnny Depp). He’s very handsome (it’s Johnny Depp I mean duh) but not quite complete. Before the Inventor could finish Edward, he passed away, leaving Edward with scissors instead of hands. We assume Edward stays up in the Inventor’s huge house for many years as it has become dilapidated and is also now surrounded by a small, simple suburb.

Anyway, the movie begins with Peg Boggs (Dianne Wiest), an Avon saleswoman making the rounds not having very much luck at selling anything. She’s kind of desperate so decides to venture to the giant creepy mansion at the edge of the perfect little neighborhood (think Count Olaf if you know who that is) to see if anyone lives there and if they do would they like to buy beauty products. So she obviously comes across Edward and eventually decides to take him home with her – a spur of the moment kind of decision…

Turns out as odd and kind of dangerous as Edward appears to be he is a kind soul whose only wish simply seems to be loved and accepted by someone. He stays with Peg, her husband (Alan Arkin), and two kids Kevin (Robert Oliveri) and Kim (Winona Ryder) for a few months and has an…interesting time. He and Kim develop a non-physical but very strong relationship and he finally gets the loving family he always wanted. The thing is he just doesn’t really fit in…

Okay I keep mentioning the neighborhood without really describing it. I mean it’s Tim Burton and if you don’t already know he’s known for having the gloomy clash awkwardly, yet brilliantly, with the bright and cheerful. Edward Scissorhands goes a little farther and is like Tim Burton meets Dr. Seuss. Does it sound weird? Well it is but it’s amazing. The whole movie kind of makes fun of American culture in the 1950’s with the whole perfect neighborhood, perfect families, etc. and it isn’t until Edward – or “change” – comes for a visit that things get chaotic. The housewives are all ridiculous as they are obsessed with gossip and other people’s business (such as Edward himself). So are the husbands because they are all oblivious to the change and are only focused on…I don’t know being husbands? But what my dad pointed out the other night when we watched it together was that underneath the obvious plot of Edward coming to stay with the Boggs’ was this other issue of kind of fitting into a group of people. Peg and her family are very different from the others in the neighborhood, yet they also find themselves trying to be socially accepted by their judgmental neighbors. Of all characters, Kim succumbs to this pressure the most in a scene I won’t spoil and for a moment we kind of find ourselves hating her. But, then again, we also have to think of it as simply crumbling under peer pressure – a popular issue in the world of teens.

This movie is kind of hard to review as I’m so familiar with it and am tempted to just tell you the whole story because it’s so great. But don’t worry I won’t!

I think all of the actors played their characters so well and had us believing that this unbelievably ridiculous town was real. While their physical appearances were perhaps a little on the unrealistic side, their characters were so familiar that we saw the world they live in as very true to our own.

For Burton fans out there who maybe haven’t seen this movie, I don’t think you will be disappointed. It’s a bit more of an emotional rollercoaster than some of his other films but it still holds that dark humor we all know and love – you just may happen find yourself crying at the end and it’s my favorite Tim Burton movie for this very reason.

Dirty Girl (2010)

Director: Abe Sylvia

Writer: Abe Sylvia

Starring: Juno Temple, Jeremy Dozier, Mila Jovovich, Mary Steenburgen

Rated: R (sexual content including graphic nudity, language)

Firstly, sorry it’s taken so long to get back on track. (Finals…) But anyway, now that I’m on Christmas break hopefully I’ll get back in the groove!

So last night I watched Dirty Girl. Never heard of it? Neither had I. To be honest I was really dreading watching it because the trailer looked terrible. But I judged too quickly. At least I think I did…

The movie takes place in Oklahoma in 1987 and it’s centered around high school “dirty girl,” Danielle (Juno Temple) who, because of her oh-so-slutty ways, has been placed “with the retards.” (Does it sound offensive yet? Don’t worry it isn’t as bad as it seems.) Basically her principle hasn’t been impressed by her promiscuity and as a sort of punishment places her in a school program for troubled students called “Challengers,” in which she is teamed up with Clarke (Jeremy Dozier), a shy, gay outcast, to work on a project.

Meanwhile at home – because mentioning family life would probably be important as well – Danielle lives with her sweet and very young mother, Sue-Ann (Mila Jovovich) who is soon to be married to this kind of annoying Mormon guy (William H. Macy) who’s already got two really annoying kids. Danielle isn’t too fond of any of them – including her mother – and pretty much spends most of her time not helping out by constantly acting out.

Clarke lives with his loving, yet easily intimidated, mother (Mary Steenburgen) and homophobic father (Dwight Yoakam) who’s not the nicest of men out there as he tends to act violently at any sign of “gay behavior” from his son.  

So…Danielle and Clarke start to spend time with each other as they work on their project (taking care of a flour sack). Then, after discovering the identity of Danielle’s father, the two set off for California in hopes of finding him.

Okay so there’s kind of a lot to this movie as you may be able to tell. It’s kind of all over the place and not the easiest to explain. (I left a lot out to spare you a fair share of literary confusion). I can’t really tell if I liked it or not to be honest. The first half an hour or so was surprisingly funny (a whole bunch of crude humor) but beyond the humor the content was actually pretty serious and really quite sad. I mean there’s a ton of verbal abuse from father to gay son, which I’m sure hits very close to home for a lot of people and then this whole sub plot of hating your single parent and wanting to find the other one in hopes they’ll be better, which, again, I’m sure many can relate to.

What was weird though, was that at some parts the movie wasn’t trying to be touching but then at others I could tell it was and to be completely honest, it was during the effortless parts that I felt the most invested and even kind of emotional. I think with as little as twenty-five percent less cheesiness (such as lines and music) the film could have been way better because it was when they weren’t trying to make me really feel for the characters that I did the most. For example just observing Danielle’s typical relationship with her mother made me just feel terrible for both of them, yet lucky that my relationship with my own mother is healthy . If or when you watch the movie, you’ll probably see what I mean when I say that some of the script was too cheesy for words and that the soundtrack was a little much at times, but when neither of these applied, the movie was actually kind of decent.

*SPOILER ALERT* Don’t read the next two paragraphs if you don’t want spoilers. Just to add on to what I was just saying and to end this really awkward review, I wanted to quickly discuss a scene I thought was really well done and one I thought was too much.

So Danielle does eventually make it to her father’s house. Her mother, who had gone after her along with Clarke’s mother, had made it there before her, and attempts to discourage Danielle from meeting her father. Danielle then runs away in order to avoid her mothers grasp and ends up in her fathers backyard where she finds him grilling burgers – a very stereotypical “dad activity.” The scene then patiently progresses as the two briefly talk and introduce themselves to each other. At one point her father’s young daughter comes out and Danielle is introduced as one of her father’s students. In tears Danielle meets her father’s little girl and honestly it’s really damn emotional. I mean despite a whole lot of stupid things that happened leading up to this moment, I was actually feeling like if I were a tad more invested in the movie I might have teared up a little bit. But don’t let that make you think its Oscar-worthy because, trust me, it isn’t.

The other scene that I thought was just ridiculous was the last scene where Danielle is performing in the talent show singing Melissa Manchester’s “Don’t Cry Out Loud” – a song Clarke had thought of performing earlier on in the film. (By the way she’s doing it solo because Clarke’s father had sent him off to Military School - I told you there was a lot going on in this movie). The scene wouldn’t have been so bad if Clarke hadn’t shown up out of freaking nowhere to finish the song with Danielle having randomly returned home (like what?) I don’t know it was just painful to watch.

*NO MORE SPOILERS* So this review I’m sure was all over the place and not very well organized, but to be fair neither was the movie! Hopefully you’re able to make sense out of what I’m trying to say about this film but if not I’ll sum it up real quick.

Basically I didn’t think this movie was great; it made me cringe at times and just feel really confused at others. However…the acting was actually very good despite the kind of terrible script and about seventy-five percent of the jokes are pretty funny if you’re into crude humor. It wasn’t worthy of an award or anything but really, Rotten Tomatoes, I think it deserves a little better than a 27%. But that’s just my opinion…